queries

i don't wonder how most people say the time of your youth is the best time to do pretty much everything. truly, this is the best time to explore: this is the life of everything in between. and being in between means you are in the mean of everything that life has to offer. they say this is the best time for everything. the best time to party, to study, to decide, to learn, to seek, to understand, to experience, to fall in love, to.. to everything you could think of!! :))

what happens if you miss some of these? what happens if you missed out doing one? would you fail? would you regret you never did it in this most sacred time of your life?

i would have doubted everything people say about this time of our life. it's too vast to explain. it's too vague to put in to words. but i just wanna know, i just wanna ask (if i may not end up having the same vast or vague answers as how they define this stage) if i grew older, just a little more older.. without having one of the best things, they say, that you should have at this point in life. you know what i mean.

i could have been defined as a loser if i elaborate it too much but i am just wondering. just a simple "what if".
my friend and i often say that "God is still brewing the right match, so we'd have to wait a little more.. we do not want to fail anyway.. we all wish for happily ever afters anyway"
but for how long? i do not mean to sound as if i'm rushing things out but.. do i really miss half of my life if i didn't?
again, some people (the elders, usually) would say you need to accomplish this and that first before you could .. blah blah blah.. (i bet they were told of the same stuffs when they were young, so they thought about these stuffs too! :)) ) these are some of the few vast & vague definitions.

it's simple to a few. it's complicated for some. it's lovely for most. but very few are really blessed (if i say it right-blessed) to have the right match early at this point :)

i do not fancy anyone right now, really. but i am seeing some of my friends find theirs one by one and i felt like i'm being left behind. i know for myself i'm just the average, small for the age (well, petite), semi-attractive girl and i know i have no good chances if i don't try to improve me, which i really suck in doing, and if i let my ambitions come in my way (entering medschool, and medschool means forgeting pretty much everything about social life. haha). i even have this precognitions that i'd never be committed and be single all my life! :))

this is sounding queer already. people are not used of hearing this from me. well, i'm just wondering.

but in a few days, we'll see.

or even in a few months.

if not, in a few years..

or maybe after medschool..

or maybe... never at all?



ahk.. sucks :)) -->that's funny. hahah :))